Healing the split between the artist and the scientist
Reflections on attending an Alchemy conference
Last weekend, I got to attend a conference offered by the London Arts-Based Research Centre on the topic of “Alchemy: Exploring Metaphorical Transformations and Arts-Based Research”.
Yes -an entire conference dedicated to Alchemy! You can imagine my joy and enthusiasm, when I found out about it, which only grew as I fully immersed myself in the alchemical field (quite palpable, even via the internet) for hours on end.
This experience had a real impact on me, and I am definitely still digesting both the information and the transformation. Before too much time goes by though, and while it is all still fresh and alive in me, I wanted to write down a few reflections on that journey, and share some of what it brought up in me.
Starting with this big realisation:
Research has changed
It is not in any way the same as twelve years ago, when I was writing my Master’s dissertation. My paper on Alchemy and Yoga would have been considered too far out for most graduate institutes at the time, but I was fortunate enough to study at a rare and rather fringe one that welcomed -what was then considered- unconventional subject choices. As a reference, I still don’t think it would be accepted as a valid research topic in any university in Greece, where I’m from.
Research has actually evolved, progressed and is continually moving beyond the great split between art and science, between subjective experience and hard facts, between Eros and Logos -ultimately, between body and mind. As I discovered through the many, incredibly interesting presentations at the conference, there is now ample space in research for creativity, for the spiritual and the mystical -there is space for the imagination, not just logic!
We have come a long way, I thought, since the time of Carl Jung’s own wrestling with this same tension, when he had tried so hard to renounce the label of the mystic that was often attributed to him, in favour of that of the scientist1.
As someone who has felt suspended between these two worlds for the longest time, with one foot here and one foot there, feeling that I always had to choose one, and thus sacrifice the other, to say that this was a relief would be a huge understatement.
At a time of immense, tragic division in the world, it was even more meaningful to witness this movement beyond fragmentation and toward greater wholeness; synthesis. I can only hope for more of that energy in the collective, and do believe that art has a primary role to play in the bridging.
Process, not perfection
I was so inspired to hear from several people who were in-process with their work; they weren’t finished with it, they didn’t present a complete, perfect, polished creation. Rather, they shared from different points on their journey and they were open about their exploration, their inquiries, the things they did and didn’t know, and the dialogue that took place between them and their work.
Their projects were living, changing, evolving -not dry and sterilised like a lot of it felt to me when I moved away from academia. Both the researchers and the research felt more human. And that was beautiful to watch.
It made me think of our (and my) obsession with perfection; how we are so used to hiding the process, keeping it behind closed doors, and waiting until we have something seemingly flawless to share with the world; how that truly sucks the life out of whatever it is we are working on, and out of ourselves as human beings in relationship to our creations.
It brought home to me the essence of research as ongoing inquiry and experimentation; how much curiosity, trial and error goes -and is meant to go- into it. It reminded me of the truth held in the great cliche that it’s all about the journey, rather than the destination, and highlighted all the ways that our results-oriented, performance-obsessed culture has robbed us of this innocent curiosity.
It also had me reflecting on my writing here. My original intention, when I joined Substack, was to have a space to explore ideas in greater depth and be in-process, along with other people with similar interests as mine. As it often happens, putting the intention into practice can get more complicated, and I really saw how easily I can be pulled back into perfectionism, which, of course, only stifles my expression.
I would love to approach this space with this new perspective in mind -free flow writing this piece is my first attempt at doing so- and see where it takes me. And I really want to invite in your perspectives and experience, as I would love for this to be a dialogue rather than an essay.
Poetry over Psychology
“There are things a poet can teach you that a psychologist cannot.”
—Clementine Morrigan
I was going to say I was surprised, but I wasn’t really…to find that I was much more drawn to the art and poetry presentations than those related to healing, therapy and trauma. This has been the direction my work has been moving in, since I completed my therapy practice last year -and yet, it doesn’t come without resistance. There is still a part of me that thinks I should be more interested in the healing work. It is the same part that has been conditioned to hold therapy in higher regard than art, that thinks of the first as serious work and the latter as a nice pastime.
This is the split that I, and many of us, carry -the split this article is titled after. And it goes deep. That is why this conference was so important and liberating for me.
When I move beyond my mind’s reactions, here’s what I know to be true:
My inner therapist is not going anywhere. She will always be a part of me. And -it’s now time for my artist to take over. At this point in my life, both personally and professionally (they always go together anyway), I am much more interested in how we make art out of our lived experience, and how we bring that art back into the body/soul to move and shape and whole us, and how we continue creating from that place of embodiment and dialogue…rather than healing per se (which, just to be clear, is super important too -I just don’t see it as a life-long objective anymore).
To put it in alchemical terms, for me, this shift is part of the movement from the back/white (nigredo to albedo) to the white/yellow phase (albedo to citrinitas). I have a million things to say about that, very soon.
The Body in Conference
My final reflection is about the importance of bringing the body into a space that is inevitably, highly mind-oriented, such as a conference. I was so grateful that a few presenters took the time to ground us into our bodies, and that an experiential workshop was offered halfway through the first day -it made a big difference to pause and deepen with our own material.
I know that it can be logistically difficult, when there are so many amazing voices to be heard, but I do envision future conferences in which movement, breath and experience are given equal space and time as verbally presenting/receiving. I do think we are moving in that direction, and am so grateful for the opportunity to participate in this movement.
“Jung The Mystic” by Gary Lachman